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2011-05-21 10:52

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2011-05-20 05:30

CDC Takes Notice of Tuggers Diabolical Plan

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2011-05-16 12:42

Tuggers Turn Fans into Zomfans

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The Tug-blog: A Tughead's Guide to All Things Good

CDC Takes Notice of Tuggers Diabolical Plan

blog/6.jpg
By: Teddy and the Tuggers
Date: 2011-05-20 05:30

In response to our article about turning our fans into mindless zombies, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention -- or CDC -- is taking some precautionary measures to insure the Tuggers don't turn society into the walking dead. Our plan is working perfectly!

As you probably recall our first prong of the zomfan plan was to get some media attention. Now, the U.S. Government is releasing these tips (yes, these were really published by a prominent government agency on the day we published our article). For our massive power grabbing stunt to be complete, we only have to wait for our fans to become zombies, infect others and for all those mindless freaks to rock out to our tunes.

But, here is some bad news for Uncle Sam. Everyone knows it is nearly impossible to stop a zombie invasion, especially when the only things you advise people to have in their emergency kits is water, important documents and bedding.

Where is the sawed-off shotgun? The assault rifle? The monkey bombs!? Unless you're going to strangle the zombies with bed sheets, this CDC zomkit will not do.

So, although its counterintuitive, the Tuggers are releasing their own tips to deter a zomfan onslaught:

1. Lock and Load- Get guns. A lot of guns. Guns can be used to shoot zombies.

2. Fortify- Zombies are pretty determined. They will break windows, tear down doors and completely destroy your landscaping. A moat filled with alligators is a good start.

3. Meet and Greet- The CDC advises you meet near your mailbox, but West Palm on June 3 is a much more secure location.

4. Easy Listening- Get the Tuggers demo. Youll have a lot of time to twiddle your thumbs in between zombie assaults, and the TugEP sounds better than the undead moaning.

5. Batteries- For your boom box and Game Boy. Batteries are pretty important.



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Accountant supermarket manager

2015-04-30 07:04 | Freelife

I study here

2015-04-30 07:04 | Katherine

I quite like cooking

2015-04-30 07:04 | Zackary

Whereabouts are you from?

2015-04-30 07:04 | Morris

How many would you like?

2015-04-30 07:04 | Lewis

Your cash is being counted

2015-04-30 07:04 | Preston

Can I use your phone?

2015-04-30 07:04 | Tracy

The National Gallery

2015-04-30 07:04 | Thurman

Do you play any instruments?

2015-04-30 06:32 | Lester

I enjoy travelling

2015-04-30 06:32 | Barney

Is it convenient to talk at the moment?

2015-04-30 06:32 | Arlie

Could you send me an application form?

2015-04-30 06:32 | Reinaldo

How much is a First Class stamp?

2015-04-30 06:32 | Scott

I'm sorry, I'm not interested

2015-04-30 06:32 | Benito

Punk not dead

2015-04-30 06:32 | Frankie

Sorry, you must have the wrong number

2015-04-30 06:32 | Isabelle

Where's the nearest cash machine?

2015-04-30 06:32 | Lyman

What sort of music do you listen to?

2015-04-30 06:31 | Crazyfrog

This is your employment contract

2015-04-30 06:10 | Vincent

I've got a full-time job

2015-04-30 06:10 | Abraham

It's funny goodluck

2015-04-30 06:09 | Goodsam

I'm a housewife

2015-04-30 06:09 | Felton

Some First Class stamps

2015-04-30 06:09 | Samantha

Do you know the address?

2015-04-30 06:09 | Ralph

I'm doing a masters in law

2015-04-30 06:09 | Raymon

Could you please repeat that?

2015-04-30 06:09 | Parker

Could you send me an application form?

2015-04-30 06:09 | Grant

I've only just arrived

2015-04-30 06:09 | Johnathan

How much is a Second Class stamp?

2015-04-30 05:40 | Major

Where do you come from?

2015-04-30 05:40 | Rebecca

I'd like to withdraw $100, please

2015-04-30 05:40 | Lonnie

I've been made redundant

2015-04-30 05:40 | Mishel

I support Manchester United

2015-04-30 05:40 | Chung

A few months

2015-04-30 05:40 | Magic

Some First Class stamps

2015-04-30 05:40 | Patricia

I don't like pubs

2015-04-30 05:40 | Bertram

I'm on a course at the moment

2015-04-30 05:40 | Jocelyn

Could I order a new chequebook, please?

2015-04-30 05:40 | Fidel

Will I get travelling expenses?

2015-04-30 05:15 | Michelle

magic story very thanks

2015-04-30 05:15 | Donny

very best job

2015-04-30 05:15 | Denis

Could I borrow your phone, please?

2015-04-30 05:15 | Leigh

Photography

2015-04-30 05:15 | Eusebio

I study here

2015-04-30 05:15 | Ricardo

I was made redundant two months ago

2015-04-30 05:15 | Scott

How do you spell that?

2015-04-30 05:15 | Keven

Could I order a new chequebook, please?

2015-04-30 05:15 | Mary

Would you like to leave a message?

2015-04-30 05:15 | Armand

We need someone with qualifications

2015-04-30 04:49 | Jeramy

What qualifications have you got?

2015-04-30 04:49 | Graham

How much will it cost to send this letter to ?

2015-04-30 04:49 | Alberto

I hate shopping

2015-04-30 04:49 | Julio

real beauty page

2015-04-30 04:49 | Kaylee

Could you please repeat that?

2015-04-30 04:49 | Norberto

An accountancy practice

2015-04-30 04:49 | Ernie

Children with disabilities

2015-04-30 04:49 | Nickolas

Could you tell me my balance, please?

2015-04-30 04:49 | Tristan

I've lost my bank card

2015-04-30 04:49 | Mitch

Have you got any experience?

2015-04-30 04:20 | Thomas

I live here

2015-04-30 04:20 | Amia

How do you do?

2015-04-30 04:20 | Marquis

I can't get a signal

2015-04-30 04:20 | Liam

Directory enquiries

2015-04-30 04:20 | Darrel

I like watching TV

2015-04-30 04:20 | Emilio

I work here

2015-04-30 04:20 | Jerrold

The line's engaged

2015-04-30 04:20 | Elisha

I want to make a withdrawal

2015-04-30 04:20 | Abigail

We'd like to offer you the job

2015-04-30 04:20 | Antony

Whereabouts in are you from?

2015-04-30 03:59 | Randy

Best Site good looking

2015-04-30 03:59 | Darwin

A Second Class stamp

2015-04-30 03:59 | William

I'm interested in this position

2015-04-30 03:58 | Wilton

Yes, I love it!

2015-04-30 03:58 | Angel

I'm self-employed

2015-04-30 03:58 | Salvatore

What line of work are you in?

2015-04-30 03:58 | Donte

Why did you come to ?

2015-04-30 03:58 | Tyrell

Your account's overdrawn

2015-04-30 03:58 | Kennith

I'd like to pay this cheque in, please

2015-04-30 03:58 | Denver

I didn't go to university

2015-04-30 03:26 | Billy

I'm doing a phd in chemistry

2015-04-30 03:26 | Santiago

I'm interested in

2015-04-30 03:26 | Reuben

What line of work are you in?

2015-04-30 03:26 | Lemuel

Do you play any instruments?

2015-04-30 03:26 | Daryl

We'd like to invite you for an interview

2015-04-30 03:26 | Isaac

A staff restaurant

2015-04-30 03:26 | Trent

I came here to study

2015-04-30 03:26 | Arden

What university do you go to?

2015-04-30 03:26 | Barton

I've got a full-time job

2015-04-30 03:25 | Johnson

I'd like to speak to someone about a mortgage

2015-04-30 03:08 | Edwardo

I'd like a phonecard, please

2015-04-30 03:08 | Cleveland

Do you know each other?

2015-04-30 03:08 | Chris

I'm afraid that number's ex-directory

2015-04-30 03:08 | Warren

I'm a housewife

2015-04-30 03:08 | Isaiah

I'm a partner in

2015-04-30 03:08 | Stanford

Do you know the address?

2015-04-30 03:08 | Dallas

This is the job description

2015-04-30 03:08 | Wilburn

I want to make a withdrawal

2015-04-30 03:08 | Snoopy

I came here to study

2015-04-30 03:08 | Elliott