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The Tug-blog: A Tughead's Guide to All Things Good

Rapture Comes and Tuggers Stay

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By: Teddy and the Tuggers
Date: 2011-05-21 10:52

Well, this is embarrassing. We were fully expecting to be floating to God’s great kingdom by now, but instead we’re writing another stupid blog entry that no one will EVER read (not because rapture depopulated the earth, but because no one ever reads our blog). I mean this is the whole reason we weren’t trying to get famous on earth, and now our plan is ruined.

We had it all figured out. We’d party with John Bonham, release a single with Kurt Cobain and eventually have Michael Jackson own the rights to all of our songs. Instead, we’re left recording on Teddy’s computer microphone and playing dive bars (West Palm, June 3). Are we not good enough, God? Last time I checked, "thou shall not be excessively inebriated" isn’t one of the Ten Commandments.

So what we blame our farts on the dog sometimes and unleashed a zombie plague on our friends, it’s human nature to do those kind of things. We’re not bad people, just good people who do bad -- sometimes really bad -- things. So here is us formally asking for forgiveness. We’re sorry. We’ll just close our eyes and wait for our angel wings to grow.

Any second now…

Nothing, really, even after we apologized. Well, I suppose that’s what you get for playing the devil’s music.



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